Six months ago I signed up for an art class. 1) I started a painting, one I’ve been trying to finish ever since. The experience, challenging & very humbling.
Having spent a near lifetime chasing academic & professional success, Art is different. It’s subjective, personal, creative. Making Art forced me to confront some of my deepest fears. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not being loved.
Where there were fears, I see now, there were also coping mechanisms.. I was judgmental, insensitive, controlling. Of myself, and worse yet, of others. I hurt people, ones I love and care deeply about, more than I could imagine.
A heartfelt apology to all affected. I can’t change the past. But I can acknowledge, learn, and grow for the future. I am resolved on that. This piece, my waypoint on that path.
Beauty is everywhere. Love is unconditional. The future, brighter.
The painting is titled “Hawaiian Mermaid.” Enjoy!
Update: I initially attempted to tell the story of how I arrived at these self-realizations. Not relevant. My realizations, apology, and resolve stand alone.